Procedural learning story

We have been learning to describe a process.

When I write, I need to think about the ideas, structure & language,
organization, vocabulary, sentences, spelling and punctuation I use.  

Ideas	Structure and Language	Organization	Vocabulary	Sentence Structure	Spelling	Punctuation
-write using a range of ideas, experiences or items of information -confidently shape my ideas for effect -create content that is concise and relevant to the curriculum task -support my ideas with precise detail -uses ‘show not tell’ when appropriate	-deliberately choose a clear, controlled and logical text structure to suit the audience and purpose -show creativity and innovation when creating texts for my audience -choose appropriate adjective, verbs, nouns and adverbs.	-write in structured, well developed paragraphs that flow well from one to the next within the text -use linking words and phrases to link paragraphs for effect -Use a bullet point or number to separate the different steps	-maintain audience interest through content, humour and language choices -use language that is suitable to the topic and purpose, and discuss these choices with others -deliberately use written and visual language features when appropriate to enhance my writing; e.g similes, metaphors, personification, hyperbole, rhetorical question and diagrams -use a range of precise vocabulary to communicate meaning	-use a variety of sentence structures, beginnings and lengths to give effect -use complex sentences that are grammatically correct -use some conjunctions correctly eg: FANBOYS (for, and, nor, but, or, yet, so)	-write all basic sound and spelling patterns and use spelling rules to write unknown words -spell words correctly by drawing on knowledge of how words work	-use all basic punctuation independently -attempt more complex punctuation (eg semicolons, colons, parentheses).

Here is a piece of writing I did this term.  

I was writing to describe the process that enables a
lightbulb to turn on.  Notice how I used feedback to improve my work.

Start writing here:

1.  The tools how a light bulb work. So you need a light bulb and two  wires and a battery.

2.Then put the first wire and connect to The battery and the light bulb.

3.Then put the second wire and connected to the light bulb and the battery.

4.Then the electricity flows   through the batter to the light bulb then it light up!

Buddy Feedback: it is good but it is ‘flows’ not ‘flow’ because it will not make sense.

From Darius

Teacher Feedback: You have used time connectives to show the order someon
e would need to go on to make the circuit.  You have a full stop at the end of
each sentence.

Remember to put a capital at the beginning of each sentence.  Also, you
talked about needing some materials which was a great idea.  Then you added in t
he word battery to your instructions but didn’t put them in the materials list.  Make
sure that any materials you need are included in the list at the beginning.

My next step is to use all basic punctuation independently.